Return To Sender 

You're drowning in responsibilities you never agreed to carry.

You're the reliable one. The person who steps in. The one who notices what others miss and handles what others avoid.

It feels like competence. Until it doesn't.

Because somewhere between being helpful and being overwhelmed, you crossed an invisible line. You became the person who absorbs urgency, smooths tension, and prevents consequences—for everyone else.

Your days are full but not satisfying. Your help is effective but not appreciated. And you can't remember the last time you said no without feeling guilty.

This book asks one question that changes everything:

Is this shit actually mine?

What if most of what you're carrying was never yours to begin with?

Drawing on two decades leading medical practices and navigating the chaos of healthcare management, Topher Gearhart exposes the hidden mechanism behind chronic overextension: absorption.

You don't choose to take on extra work—you absorb it. Through reflex. Through empathy. Through being the person who cares enough to notice.

But noticing isn't ownership. And competence isn't consent.

Inside, you'll discover:

• The moment you pick it up – How responsibility transfers to you without your conscious agreement

• Why "reliable" became a trap – How being dependable quietly turns into being exploited

• When caring becomes liability – The hidden cost of your empathy

• How urgency spreads like a virus – And why other people's panic becomes your emergency

• The lie of control – Why managing everything doesn't make it your responsibility

• Letting consequences do their job – The radical relief of stepping back

This is not a productivity book.

This is not about working harder, optimizing your schedule, or becoming a "better" version of yourself.

This is about seeing—clearly—what actually belongs to you and what you've been carrying out of habit, guilt, or misplaced obligation.

For the fixers. The peacekeepers. The people who always have it handled.

For anyone who's ever thought: Why am I the only one dealing with this?

It's time to put down what isn't yours.

What Readers Are Saying:

"Gearhart’s honest and often hilarious reflections made me realize how much I’ve been carrying that isn’t mine. This book is an eye-opener—if you’ve ever been the go-to person, this is your wake-up call."

"I couldn’t put this book down. It gave me the permission I didn’t know I needed to stop absorbing everyone else’s emotional baggage. Finally, a book that calls out the quiet exhaustion of being the ‘fixer’!"

"Gearhart blends humor with deep insight to show the impact of overextending yourself. This book will make you rethink what’s actually yours to carry—and how to stop carrying things you never agreed to."

Includes: A 30-day experimental framework and the "Shit Tracker"—a practical tool for identifying what's actually yours (and what isn't).

If you're tired of carrying what doesn't belong to you, start here.